Money and Me: How I am Raising Financially Savvy Kids as a Single Mom

Every parent, I believe, wants the best possible future for their kids. I mean, we make sacrifices to make sure that we have provided the best shelter, healthcare, education, and clothing for our little ones. 

And apparently, even when they grow up and have children of their own, they will always be our little babies. I say this because my mother still calls me her baby. Even at 37! Whenever I visit her, I enjoy her cuddles, love, and affection. Oh, how could I forget her tantalizing homemade meals?

Being the lastborn of three children and raised by a widowed mother, she outdid herself. None of my siblings lacked despite the fact that after our father’s demise, we were all disinherited. 

Raised by a Widowed Mom 🤗

All I remember was the month of confusion, tears and agony and moving out from our big maisonette to a two-bedroomed house in the Donholm area.

I was only 3 at the time so I do not remember so much vividly but my siblings have told me the story.  Every moment I recount this ordeal, I salute my mother. 

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Mother having been married to a wealthy man, the director of several chains of businesses, we were guaranteed a wonderful, opulent future. We had no idea that the course of our lives would be so drastically changed.  

Our mother single-handedly raised us and aspired to give the best she could. She imparted in us forgiveness and self love. To date, I am still baffled at how one could be so wronged, insulted, and subjected to such injustices, yet be so graceful!

Amidst all the turmoil, she managed to provide us with a proper education and all the important life lessons one could learn. She is proud to say that, despite everything, she has provided unwavering support to all three of us, even during times of turbulence.

My High School Sweetheart 💔

I became a mother to my now-14-year-old son, Rodgers, in my early 20s. My then-boyfriend, who was my high school sweetheart, bolted in panic, and I was left stranded and pregnant. Something I was not anticipating. I thought he was the love of my life. That it was us against the world. That we had each other for life. Every Westlife love song I had so naively believed in and related to was now, sadly, just a fantasy.

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I tried to make all sorts of excuses for him. He was still young, but so was I, naïve, so was I, and nothing made sense. Desperate and broken, I ran to the only solace I knew. Dear mother. She received me with open arms and reassured me that if we had made it up to that point in life, an added member to our family was nothing but a blessing.

Back to Mama 🫂

She gave me all the support I needed through the pregnancy and the first 6 months postpartum. I recall experiencing health issues during my pregnancy, which forced me to resign from my job. My mother took me in. No questions asked. She took care of me unconditionally.

When my son was 6 months old I decided to get back to work but still live at my mom’s until I was certain I could stand on my own, take good care of him, and pay my bills. When he turned 2, I was eager to fly off the nest with my offspring and start our new life. This came with a lot of objections from my loving mom but I reminded her that she had always taught us to be independent. And of course, I made a promise to visit her regularly.

It was an emotional time; I missed my mom. She would call me twice every day after we moved out for close to a month until she was certain that we were okay. She went so far as to volunteer to watch Rodgers while I went to work! She truly is an angel! 

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Thriving Solo 💃

Since our offices at the time were in Westlands, we moved to Uthiru. The commute from Uthiru was ideal, and the rent was fairly affordable. I was able to get a babysitter while starting off in a one-bedroom house. I was elated to conquer life and give my child the best, just like my mother had done for us.

When he turned five, I opened an account for him and transferred Ksh10,000 from my pay to it each month. It started as a birthday gift for my beloved son. I always heard, especially in telenovelas and movies, that rich parents leave trust funds for their children. I was not rich, but I wanted to have some funds for my son when he came of age. He could set up a business with him or help him kick-start his young adult life. 

I recall that he asked to be taken to the coast for his seventh birthday. I must say, we are big on birthdays, no? I obliged because a family vacation was long overdue. To be honest, I was yearning for a holiday too. So we spent our 7 days at the coast, and I knew that the time had come for my son to learn a life lesson that most parents, if not all, should offer their children.

The ‘Money Talk” 👥

I disclosed to him that I had been setting some money aside for him every month. Though he was too young at the time to fully comprehend what I meant, I had the talk with him regardless. 

We have to start them out early. I had learned that life is not fair at a young age, and I did not want my child to be caught off guard or taken advantage of. As the good book says, my people perish for lack of knowledge.

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I made sure to impart to him that money is earned; we need to save up for a rainy day; we do not just buy because we want; we have to see if we need it, meaning we need careful consideration in order of necessity and priority. 

I have also taught him that we deserve to reward ourselves when we win. This means I gift him every time and again when he does better at school and also give him small chores that earn some extra money from. 

For instance, if he helps organize the house, he gets some money to spend, say on Sean’s birthday party or to buy a new toy or new book that he fancies. Sean is his best friend. When he does not need to spend the money, he asks me to send it to his account. A sense of responsibility.

Obviously, this did not start at the age of 7 years. We have been building up to this journey. Over the years, he has been learning and is able to take up more responsibilities. 

He gradually understands why things have to be done a certain way, to prioritse, and to have fun while at it. To be honest, I’d hate to be an uptight mom. Therefore, every now and then whenever I can, I try to make sure that we treat ourselves to a little luxury. Even if it is a short vacation or lovely dinner dates to fancy restaurants. Just him and I.

Read Also: Various Ways to Teach Your Kids About Money as They Grow Up

At 14, just about to get into his second year of high school, I am so proud of my baby. Not just because of how tall he is now — taller than me — but because I see a responsible young man with a bright future, and I am glad to have provided a cushion for him. For his future. 

I will have to admit I am sometimes tempted to ask for a loan from him as I watch the numbers on his account grow, but he would not let me have a dime of it. 

He marvels at how he cannot wait to be 18 and be in control of his own money.  Most importantly, now that he understands how fortunate he is, he is so grateful. I have been showered with so much love and appreciation—unsolicited mugs of my favorite tea, not to mention foot rubs every once in a blue moon after a long, hefty day.

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Over the years I have learned that it’s not enough to just love our children. We need to instill valuable life lessons and moral principles in them. Indeed, even if it's just a tiny amount, set aside something small for them for their future. Even if it is just Ksh500.

 If you start doing that when they are 3 for instance, they will have at least something close to Ksh100k when they are 18. That could start a small business or something. Just a small gift for our future generations!