Losing My Job, Money and Girlfriend on Valentine’s Day

I’ve always been the kind of person who gets excited about Valentine’s Day - flowers, chocolates, catch a movie at a mall - all the mushy stuff.

Two years back, though, I learned that expectations and reality don’t always align. I was a couple of months deep into a relationship. It had started off great - a proper, all-in kind of thing.

Becky was this beautiful, good natured and pleasant girl - from an ‘old money’ kind of family. 

Everything about her was an exact opposite: affluent background, schooling, income, a solid family. The works.  

Becky was rather grounded, and would often hang out for hours in my modest bedsitter. I’d go all out to make her comfortable, assuming she was just being polite.

I was in the job searching post-college phase, with an erratic income from manning my elder brother’s pool table stand in a Ruaka pub.

We had two tables with a weekly average of Ksh4000 each - give or take.

Read Also: 10 Ideas for Valentine’s Day on a Budget

However, very little cash would be left with me. Each Friday, I’d send it all to my brother as he was servicing loans. I had to scrap along on tips, and the salary.

Bad days? We’d have to bail out patrons when random swoops by local cops befell us.

Becky was gleefully oblivious. Just a girl seemingly having her best time. 

I was under pressure, though - Valentine’s Day coming up, a girl to impress and no budget for it. All I had in abundance was a rich imagination. 

A tragic comedy of errors begun with a decision to skip two weekly returns.

The first Friday, I had a friend call my brother with a fake sob story: We had been arrested. We needed to bail out clients, as per business policy. ‍

Poor brother absorbed that expense. The big day fell on the following Thursday, so I’d still have that week’s income.

Read Also: 7 Financially Sound Gifts for Your Partner This Valentine’s

My stash was pretty snag, but - still.......

See, I’d often scroll Becky’s social media accounts. To see what she liked, places she visited or the food she ate.

Becky on social media had a very different tilt to the Becky sprawled on my mattress, absently watching Game of Thrones.

I had a generational 21” TV in my bedsitter. On her Instagram, I could see shots of a swanky 65” screen. Clips of her shopping in top end boutiques, hanging out with socialites and expensive liquor wines. 

I wanted a date she’d remember. I couldn't afford to be a Simpleton. 

I went online shopping. I ordered designer perfume, a banquet of flowers and a box of chocolate with pink ribbons - all insanely expensive.

The figure easily surpassed my six months rent. 

I paid an ‘errands' lady in the CBD - who’d deliver the gifts on Valentine’s Day morning. She wasn’t cheap. Becky worked reception at her family’s car sales yard on Kiambu Road. 

The day came, as all days inevitably do. I had a friend hold forte at work. At 3pm I caught a bus to town. I knew her ‘favourite’ restaurant from Instagram, in an exclusive neighbourhood.

Read Also: Money, Valentine’s & Me: Once Bitten, Twice Shy - A Man’s Perspective

No PSVs. I had to pay for a cab.

This restaurant had a Valentine’s Day package - a bouquet of rose flowers, wine in a small bucket on candlelit tables.

Oh, man - I had run out of money even before the date had begun. 

Luckily, due to the constant flow of money on my mobile money account, I had a sizable overdraft facility. I settled in, sent her a location pin on WhatsApp and waited. 

Becky did come alright, but I was shocked.

She wasn’t in a trendy anything anyone would wear on a date. She had on a regular pair of sweatpants and flip flops.

She stood still for a full Roman minute, squinting at me across the table. 

The restaurant was dimly lit, with strains of Luther Vandross wafting across the floor interspersed with potted palm trees.

I still remember how ridiculous I seemed then, in my hoodie and basketball sneakers. 

Patrons started staring. A waiter in a crisp tuxedo stood nearby, with a small, white towel draped on his arm. 

Read Also: 5 Money Mistakes Most People Make on Valentine

Becky, without a word, wheeled about like an Army Sergeant on parade and shot out of the door. I was in a daze for a couple of minutes. 

An SMS: This is ridiculous. I wanted you for you. This is fake. ‍

It took a few minutes to realize I’d been dumped. 

On impulse, I grabbed the bottle of wine, the bouquet, a handful of chocolates and headed for the lifts. 

A week later, a debt recovery gang came calling. I watched helplessly as they hauled away one of our pool tables. We had defaulted on the loan payments.

My brother had been financed by a ruthless local shylock.

Someone had also snitched. He knew we hadn’t been arrested a week earlier. Our relationship crumbled beyond repair, and I lost my job.

The only option was to relocate to the village to rethink my life’s choices. 

I healed, somewhat. I’m wiser now.

Valentine’s Day is not an emergency that should push anyone to debt. The point is not to impress anyone. The right one will love you either way. 

Flowers or no flowers. 

The only ‘once in a lifetime experience” from my escapade was sharing a bottle of sparkling wine with a cab driver on the way to town to pick a Matatu home! 

Anyways, Happy Valentine’s Day folks...