Instead of Fearing Women, We Can Learn From Them - Money and Me

Fear women is a phrase that any Kenyan with decent internet connection has come across at some point. It's a phrase that went viral with men sharing personal stories of how a member of the fairer gender left them in 'tears'.

Some spoke of heartbreaks but I am more interested in a certain faction that pushed a certain narrative that needs to be examined critically. This is the faction that believes women are bad for your finances.

It started with a 'tuma fare' story that left a guy with no girl and no money and others jumped on the wagon to claim that women and your personal finance is a match made in hell. Is this inherently true? Can we find evidence to support this narrative or is it nothing more than biased commentary from a broken heart?

Also, as a single guy looking to make the next step, you get why the current 'fear women' narrative creates a bit of a conundrum. I will still do my best by being impartial and sharing my findings following my research on the subject.

Why Fearing Women Could Be Bad For You

According to a study by Fidelity Investments - an American multinational financial services corporation based in Boston, Massachusetts, women tend to save more money and earn higher returns on their investments than men. 

Additionally, the study found that women may be more risk-averse and take a more cautious approach to investing, which can lead to better long-term results.

Additionally, studies have shown that companies with more women in leadership positions tend to be more financially successful, which may reflect the fact that women bring diverse perspectives and skills to the table.

Therefore, one could argue that having a partner who is supportive and invested in one's financial goals can certainly be beneficial.

Here are a few ways in which a spouse/partner can positively impact your financial situation:

Shared financial goals: When both spouses have similar financial goals, it can be easier to work together to achieve them. This can include things like saving for retirement, paying off debt, or building an emergency fund. By working together, you may be able to accomplish these goals more quickly and efficiently.

Dual income: If both spouses are working and bringing in a steady income, it can significantly increase the household's financial stability. This extra income can be used to pay off debts, save for future expenses, or invest in the stock market.

Accountability: When you have a partner to keep you accountable for your spending and saving habits, it can be easier to stick to a budget and make smarter financial decisions.

Division of labor: If one spouse is better at managing money or enjoys handling the finances, they can take the lead on financial matters while the other takes on other household responsibilities.

Encouragement and support: Having a supportive woman can help you stay motivated and accountable for your financial goals. She can offer emotional support, encouragement, and accountability to help you stay on track.

The Other Side of The Coin

However, it's important to note that a spouse can also have a negative impact on your personal finances. 

For example, if your spouse has a lot of debt or spending habits that are out of control, it can harm your financial situation. It's crucial to communicate openly about finances and work together to achieve financial goals. 

As much as you should fear such women, you should fear such men as well. Bad spending habits if left unchecked leads to disaster, regardless of the gender.

Open and honest communication is key to managing your personal finances effectively. By discussing your financial situation with her on a regular basis, you can ensure that you have no need to 'fear women' as this guarantees that you are both on the same page and working towards the same goals.

Finding Common Ground

Managing finances can be a significant source of stress and conflict for couples, so it's important for both partners to be on the same page when it comes to money. Here are some tips for managing finances as a couple:

Communicate openly: It's important to have honest and open communication about your financial situation, including income, expenses, debts, and goals.

Set financial goals together: Discuss your long-term financial goals as a couple and work together to create a plan to achieve them. This will help you both stay motivated and focused on the bigger picture.

Create a budget: Make a budget that takes into account both of your incomes and expenses. This will help you to avoid overspending and ensure that you're both contributing to your shared expenses.

Divide financial responsibilities: Divide up financial responsibilities based on each partner's strengths and preferences. For example, one partner may be better at managing the bills while the other is better at investing.

Be transparent about spending: Avoid hiding purchases from each other, as this can erode trust and lead to conflict. Instead, be open about your spending and work together to find ways to stay within your budget.

Plan for emergencies: Make sure you have an emergency fund to cover unexpected expenses, such as medical bills or car repairs.

Remember, managing finances as a couple takes effort and compromise from both partners. By working together, you can create a strong financial foundation for your future together.

A Fresh Perspective on Relationships and Money

A good friend of mine who is in the 'mama I made it stage of his life' recently shared a nugget that got me thinking. 

He said that everything in life should have a ROI (Return on Investment), including relationships. Instead of focusing on all that you give to your significant other, look at what you are receiving. If the ROI doesn't make sense, you need to re-evaluate and make adjustments.

I know it sounds cold but if you take a second to think about it, you will see the sense in it.

Food For Thought

During a recent trip, a few words from a close friend got me thinking. I was the only single guy in the high-end SUV as we made our way to Western Kenya.

For some reason, our random talks switched to a certain MP who has been making waves on social media platforms.

The friend I mentioned said "this guy (MP) needs to start a family. He needs a wife because that's the only way I use to measure the worth of a man. If you can't handle being in a committed relationship where two adults are pushing towards a common goal, then I really don't rate anything you say. Such responsibility brings something out of a man that cannot be equated to anything,"

Now, being the only single guy in the car meant that his statement was followed by a very lengthy awkward silence. After what seemed like an eternity, the friend I mentioned earlier finally spoke.

"That's all well and true," he said.

"However. The thing with marriage is that there's never really a timetable. You need to be 100% sure that you are not only willing and capable of handling that challenge, but more importantly, that you are going down this life-changing journey with the right partner."

"Always remember what I always tell you, Eddy. Every relationship in your life MUST have a positive ROI." He said.

WRAPPING UP

From personal experience coupled with the research I've carried out, 'fear women' is just a funny meme that should be taken at face value. The benefits that come with a having a life partner when it comes to realizing your financial goals cannot be ignored.

However, it's important to note that having a good spouse alone may not guarantee financial success. It takes effort from both partners to communicate effectively, be financially responsible, and work towards shared goals. 

It's also important to have individual financial skills and habits, such as budgeting, saving, and investing, in order to achieve long-term financial success.