“I Can’t Date a Man Who Earns Less Than 100K!” – The Nairobi Dating Debate

Last week, our office cafeteria turned into a debate hall. As we sat down for lunch, one of my colleagues, Jane, casually dropped a bombshell:

"I would never date a man who earns less than 100K in Nairobi. Can never be me!"

Spoons paused mid-air. A few people chuckled. Others nodded in agreement. And just like that, our peaceful lunch break turned into a heated discussion.

“Wait,” I asked, “but why?”

Jane rolled her eyes. “Because Nairobi is expensive! Imagine dating a guy who’s always on a budget. Ati ‘Babe, let’s do homemade movie nights every weekend. I want soft life!”

Another colleague, Brenda, jumped in. “For real! If a man earns 50K, what kind of life are we even talking about? Rent alone will swallow half of that. Then what? Love won’t pay bills!”

But from the corner, Carol spoke up. “C’mon, ladies. Isn’t character more important? What if he earns 70K but is responsible and has big plans?”

The room fell silent for a second. Then, Jane shook her head. “Ambition doesn’t pay rent, my dear.”

And that’s when I realized—this wasn’t just office banter. This was the conversation happening across Nairobi.

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Why Do Some Women Have the 100K Rule?

Truth be told, Nairobi is not cheap. Rent, food, transport—it all adds up fast. Many women want a financially secure partner to avoid constant money stress in a relationship. The logic is simple: If a guy is already struggling alone, how will he support a household?

But is 100K really the magic number? Or is this just a Nairobi version of unrealistic expectations meet harsh reality?

In a city where rent for an enviable one-bedroom apartment can cost you up to  Ksh30,000 or more, and a simple meal out could run you Ksh2,000, it’s not hard to see why many women want financial stability from their partners.

What we’re seeing here is a cultural shift—women are becoming more financially independent, and they’re not afraid to raise the bar when it comes to dating standards. In the past, a woman might have depended on a man for financial security, but today’s woman wants a partner who can match her ambitions and contribute equally to the relationship.

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The Importance of Financial Compatibility

Let’s talk about financial compatibility. It’s no secret that money can cause a lot of tension in relationships. Think about it—when you’re constantly worried about how bills are going to be paid, or if there’s enough left for a rainy day, it’s hard to focus on anything else.

When two people are not on the same page financially, it can create serious problems. Imagine dating someone who’s still struggling to pay off Helb loans while you’re already putting money away for a home and retirement. The financial strain alone can kill the relationship before it has a chance to flourish.

This is where the “100K rule” comes into play. For many women, it’s not about being superficial or materialistic. It’s about ensuring they don’t have to bear the burden of managing a relationship’s finances alone.

But Does Earning 100K Automatically Equal Success?

Here’s the catch—earning Ksh100,000 doesn’t guarantee that you’re financially stable. A person making that amount could still be living paycheck to paycheck, caught up in debt, or unable to manage their finances properly.

So while it’s nice to think that a partner earning a good salary equals financial security, the truth is, it’s not always the case. The ability to manage money, save, invest, and plan for the future is far more important than the number on a paycheck.

This is where the whole “ambition” thing comes into play. Let’s say you’re dating someone who earns 70K but has clear financial goals, is actively budgeting, and is on track to grow his income. That’s a lot more appealing than someone making 200K and spending it all on flashy and unnecessary luxuries.

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Are We Setting the Bar Too High?

Here’s where things get tricky. Are we, as a society, setting the bar too high? Should we be focusing more on what a person can bring to the table in terms of values, goals, and vision for the future, rather than how much they earn in the present?

It’s easy to say, “I can’t date someone who earns less than 100K,” but the reality is, life isn’t always that black and white. People grow. People change. You might meet someone earning less than 100K today, but if you’re both committed to growing together, that person could end up being the perfect partner to build a future with.

That’s why it’s so important to talk openly about money in relationships. Having regular conversations about financial goals, savings, and investments can help ensure that both partners are aligned and working towards the same vision. It’s about building together, not just about where you start.

The Pressure to Keep Up with Social Media Standards

Let’s be honest: the rise of social media has amplified the pressure to “keep up” with others, especially when it comes to lifestyle. On Instagram, people flaunt their designer clothes, lavish vacations, and expensive meals. It’s easy to get caught up in the illusion of a perfect life, one where you think everyone is living large.

This has contributed to the mindset that a relationship should be built around financial status. If a man isn’t earning Ksh100K, how can he afford to spoil his partner with the luxury lifestyle that is portrayed online?

But here’s the truth—what you see on social media is not always reality. Behind those perfect photos might be credit card debt, financial strain, or a life built on keeping up with appearances. It’s essential to remind ourselves that true happiness in a relationship isn’t measured by Instagram likes or how much you spend on dinner. It’s about trust, communication, and the ability to work together as a team.

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Final Thoughts: Is 100K Really the Dealbreaker?

By the time lunch was over, we had agreed on one thing: money is important, but so is character. Though Jane would not barge, she did agree that we had a point. A 100K salary doesn’t guarantee a good relationship, just like earning less doesn’t mean failure.

So ladies, before setting that “100K or nothing” rule, maybe ask yourself—do you want a rich guy, or do you want a financially smart partner? Because trust me, those aren’t always the same thing.

Let’s not forget that a partner’s value goes far beyond what they earn. It’s about shared goals, mutual respect, and building a future together. Yes, financial stability is important, but it’s not the be-all and end-all.

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