Everyone Was Telling Me What to Do with My Salary, I Ended Up Broke: Money and Me

I started my first job 8 months ago. Before that, I was on a 3 month attachment, it resulted in me getting my current job. 

Getting an offer letter was the best experience of my life. I had not graduated then and having a well-paying job awaiting was an answered prayer. So of course I excitedly told all my relatives about it. That is when all the confusion started.

My parents have two completely different money personality types. One is a big spender and the other is a saver. I don’t remember any day they agreed on how to spend their money. My mother goes all out and my dad looks out for the rainy days.

So upon hearing my good news and with good intentions for me, they all had something to say.

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“Now you can save up for your master's Makena. Look for a good Sacco and invest your money so you can get a loan in about a year and once you have at least half of the fees needed you can start your further education. Do not change your lifestyle yet,” that was my dad who was to pay for my further education but hey, now you are an adult with a job and a salary.

“Get a nicer house near your workplace so you are not tired everyday. It might be more expensive but you can only deliver at work if you are comfortable,” my mum advised.

But that was all before I got the actual job.  On receiving my first salary my elder sister had an emergency and she said she would ‘pay me back’.

Before she could pay me back my grandmother had a chama and it would be her turn the next month so she would pay me back my Ksh7,000 then.

I love my family. I couldn’t not help them when I had the means.

“Makena don’t forget to give back to God when he favoured you so much that you got a job when so many people are struggling. In fact we have a fundraiser in church in 3 months and you should save up and be a guest.  Last year Tr.Karen’s son brought us Ksh150,000 and he’s only 2 years older than you,” that was my mum who happens to be the chair of the Development Committee in our church.

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The pressure was getting worse.  Every month someone had something to say about where I should and shouldn’t keep my salary and most times it ended up in everyone's pockets but mine. 

I never thought much of it unless it was on a day I couldn’t pay for something I really wanted.  I had a sense of gratitude towards my family for they had supported me all my life so I guess it was my turn to pay them back.

But on the other hand my financial health was not in a good place. In the first six months of working I had not bought anything for myself, had not started paying back my HELB loan, saving, or even moving closer to my workplace.

I realised I did not know how to set boundaries when it came to my family and I did not know what to do. They already knew exactly how much I was earning and everyone had their own calculations on how I would spend MY money that month!

Last end-month I did not pick their calls and I am strategising on how I’ll go home and have a talk with them so they understand I’m actually a grown up with more needs than they know and that I can manage.

I have read a lot on black tax and I will be budgeting to ensure my financial health comes first - only then will I be able to be of help to my loved ones.

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